Okay, so this is more of a question than a post. And, a bit of a rant too. Why do other mothers feel compelled to tell horror stories about birth and pregnancy to first-time moms-to-be? I'm already a worry-wort and obsess about everything. Why do other women feel the need to freak me out even more so?
I have no idea how my own labor and birth experience will be. For all I know it could be completely normal. Nothing out of ordinary. No horrible, traumatizing, agonizing moments. But, it sure doesn't help when women around me like to leave that seed of doubt in my brain and the thought that I possibly 'could' be just like them. Nor does it help when other women tell painful and terrifying possibilities of stillbirth and death to a young mom. The last thing I want to hear is, "oh, you're nearly 5 months?! My daughter lost her baby when she was 6 months pregnant and she had no warning or complications."
AHHHHH. Why would anyone say that?! I sympathize. I truly do, but I am not the person with whom you should be discussing this. The LAST thing I need to stress about is the myriad of ways I could lose my baby. Thanks. I really needed that. Have any other mothers out there been through this? What do you do to get through all this with your sanity intact?
I didn,t experience this myself but try not to listen to those people. No matter what your birth experiance is like you will get through it, and frankly by the time your little one is a month old it won't even seem like it happened to you. Biology is funny like that. I guess its because no woman would have more than 1 child if she remembered what child birth is really like. Lets face birth is just the begining of your journey and it can't last forever. When you first see that squirming wrinkly little thing that is your child it will all be worth it no matter what the experience was like.
ReplyDeleteI experienced a little of this, and I really think most people don't even think when they say things like that. The best I can tell you is to try and ignore it and not to worry about things you can't control. Keep yourself healthy and leave the rest to God.
ReplyDeleteNow, that being said, welcome to the wonders of motherhood, of which worrying and fretting is just one of the marvels!
When I learned I hadn't had a miscarriage, I called my mom and she started celebrating. I said to her, "Well, we're still in the first 12 weeks, so we're not out of the danger zone." Then, I started thinking to myself that lots of things can go wrong after that causing still births and newborns are very fragile and babies have accidents and little kids... At that point, I asked my mom, "I'm just going to be worried for the rest of my life, aren't I?"
Her response to me was also mine to you, "Welcome to being a mom!"
I try to remember that as long as things are going smoothly for me I've got no reason to worry. No matter what other people say I have to remember that I'm not currently in that situation, and that there's no way to know whether or not I will end up in that situation, so why freak out about it? Limit your worrying to any problems that you are actually having, not problems that "could be".
ReplyDeleteAlso, quite a few of the stories I've heard that are scary had happy endings. I try to keep that in mind too. We're lucky to live in an age where medical technology is pretty advanced and while several women I know went through some really scary things, they came out alright in the end. I think that helps also - to know that even if you do end up going through a difficult patch, the odds are good that you'll be fine once it's over.